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Scared Selfless: My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving
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Review
“In Scared Selfless, Dr. Michelle Stevens takes readers on a remarkable journey. Her account of childhood trauma—told with candor and, yes, even wit—and how she found the strength and resilience to ultimately recover and triumph is an inspiration not just to other survivors, but to us all. The book is a guide for anybody seeking to overcome challenges and lead a richer and fuller life.”—Arianna Huffington“Scared Selfless is a riveting memoir that takes readers on a roller coaster ride from the depths of hell to triumphant success. Michelle’s extraordinary life story and diligent, compassionate work as a therapist teaches us that, with true-grit determination, it’s possible to overcome the worst adversity. Scared Selfless offers courage, strength, and resilience to anyone who desires a better life.”—Dave Pelzer, author, A Child Called 'It' "Scared Selfless is a compelling read about choosing your path in life and owning that decision.” –Dr. Phil “A beautifully written book…with honesty [and] humor…Through grit and hard work, what begins as Grand Guignol finishes with a big Hollywood ending.” --Vanity Fair"A testament to hope."—People“Some books should be read. Dr. Michelle Stevens book must be read. Prepare to cringe, to sob, and to rejoice. This is a captivating yet harrowing read of innocence denied, a childhood obliterated, parental indifference, grotesque and serial predation, psychopathy, and institutional inadequacies. But one has to exhale to be fair, because that is not all. This is a story about the psychological legacy of abuse, the struggle to survive a troubled mind, the challenges of finding elusive help and about finally and triumphantly finding redemption through the most unapologetic example of personal grit I’ve ever read. I could not put this book down and neither will you, not if you care about others, not if you care about children. There are heroes and there are giants in this world: Dr. Stevens is both.”—Joe Navarro, Special Agent (Ret.) and author of Dangerous Personalities“Michelle Stevens has written a fierce, honest account of her life that will stay with any reader long after the last page has turned. This book does more to explain what it feels like to live with the effects of trauma than anything I've ever read. It's the rare book that's both personal and clinical. It should be a resource and an inspiration not just to survivors but to those who love and seek to understand them.”—Sara Corbett, co-author of A House in the Sky“What an astonishing and extraordinary book! I wasn't planning to read the whole book in one sitting, but I literally couldn't put it down. In a few brief hours I experienced shock, dismay, and eventually hope as Michelle Stevens shared her remarkable journey. Then I told five friends, 'You have to read this book.' Now I am telling you—'You have to read this book.' It is a story that has to be told. I celebrate Michelle Stevens for having the courage to write it. It will mesmerize you, confound you, and eventually inspire you—as you realize that anything, no matter how horrific—can be overcome.” —Jack Canfield, coauthor of the bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul series and The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be “Courageous and insightful, Stevens' book is not only important for the light it sheds on some of the effects of extreme sexual abuse. It also provides hope to survivors that living "a successful and satisfying life" is absolutely possible. A raw and powerful account from a survivor of unspeakable abuse.”—Kirkus Reviews“Occasionally, a book comes along that absolutely takes my breath away. Scared Selfless is such a book…I could. Not. Put. It. Down…It is as harrowing as it is deeply engrossing. What I hadn’t prepared myself for was this: a tale that, in the end, would leave me in the presence of such unrelenting beauty, grace, and hope. Dr. Stevens is not only a remarkable storyteller, she is also an extraordinary healer. Her greatest balm is that of her unflinching personal truth, laid bare on these pages.”—Michelle Burford, coauthor with Michelle Knight of Finding Me“Powerful.” –GoodHousekeeping.com
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About the Author
Dr. Michelle Stevens, a psychologist, is the founder and director of Post-Traumatic Success, a nonprofit that educates and inspires those affected by psychological trauma. She studied writing at New York University before earning her doctorate from Saybrook University, where her thesis was honored as the Dissertation of Distinction. She works with survivors around the globe, encouraging them to heal, grow, and fight for better lives.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: G.P. Putnam's Sons; Reprint edition (March 27, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0735215359
ISBN-13: 978-0735215351
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 0.6 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.7 out of 5 stars
174 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#399,817 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
By the time Michelle Stevens was 13, she had been her mother’s boyfriend’s sex slave for 5 years. The memories of him remained a destructive force in her life, tugging at the frayed strings of her mental stability and will to live. She had PTSD, tried to kill herself with pills twice and developed multiple personalities. AND YET (I'm putting this in caps because it's such an exceptional accomplishment) THIS IS A TRULY INSPIRING, AT TIMES HILARIOUS, AND ALWAYS INSIGHTFUL MEMOIR! It took about 15 years, 3 hospitalizations, and multiple suicide attempts to work through Gary’s dark legacy. En route to healing herself, she grew fascinated in how the mind absorbs and deals with trauma, and her fascination to study it further and further until she eventually earns a PhD with a thesis that tells her own story as a case study! Emboldened and empowered by her remarkable journey to healing, she was inspired to help others heal through her private practice as a clinical psychotherapist who specializes in trauma. Now, with SCARED SELFLESS, she hopes to help millions by telling her story in full for the first time—and, by consequence, freeing others from the mental vise in which their tormentors have held them for years. Yes, at first it's raw, but mostly it's fascinating and completely engaging.
Scared Selfless is a first person account of child abuse, sex trafficking, child pornography and how one child grew into a woman who not only worked to overcome such horrors, but went on to become a licensed psychologist in order to help others make the transition from fear to love. As a counselor with over 25 years experience working with abuse survivors, I found this book to be a beautiful mix of personal testimony and psychological treatise on the elements necessary to bring healing to such trauma. While I highly recommend this book to both professionals and any who desire a greater understanding of these themes, the reader should be aware that this book contains a great deal of painful, shocking realities which might be triggering to some.
This was a hard book to read being a victim of child sexual abuse. I read it over a weekend and had different emotions while reading it. I felt guilty reading the details of what was going on in her life at the time, maybe because I had hid my memories so much in the back of my mind for so many years... I am not sure. I do wish that she explained a little more on what happened when she took her parents to court. (she mentioned it briefly in the book).
It was an awesome book! I loved the fact that even though Michelle went through hell....she overcame and conquered her fears. I suffer from PTSD myself and although it is not from abuse...rather from multiple major car accidents. I learned a great deal. I am still in counseling and making great progress, although I still have my bad days as well. Injuries after injuries...plus 13 surgeries and facing another it has been gruesome at times. I taught many years myself, but started having physical signs from not acknowledging my own pain. It came out in seizures and fainting spells. I will never give up just as you didn't...I am so proud of you and all the people you are helping with DID!!! :-)
In a first for me, I could.not.put.this.book.down until i reached the last page. I read memoirs, autobiographies, true crime - never has any account changed my mind as completely as this story. To this day I still don't understand grown women who proclaim to "love" their abusers. Those who allow their children to be abused are despicable, like the author's mother, who had no reason to fear for her own safety. Prior to reading this book, I also could not understand why children don't "tell." The author has done a wonderful job in explaining why, in a way that no one has done before. I get it now. On behalf of his victims I do feel cheated that the evil called Gary Lundquist never suffered a single day of the pain, humiliation and trauma he inflicted. One can only hope there really is a hell for him and his ilk. I also hope that Michelle knows there are many thousands of us who are proud of her and wish continued happiness and success in her future. Final!y, thank you, Michelle, for opening my eyes.
I almost put this book away several times because it was hard to read the detailed abuse she suffered. However, she writes so well and true and helps the reader understand SO much more than her story. I feel more educated on abuse, abusers, mental illness and a lot more. Michelle's story has inspired me to help others that experienced what she did. Although I am not a survivor of child abuse, I hope to make a difference in someone else's life that is.
I highly recommend this book. I know most people don't like reading about child abuse, child trafficking but I feel it's necessary to understand and have empathy since the news outlets often downplay how common and terrible child trafficking is. It's much easier to read news about celebrities and light hearted issues vs something as terrible as child trafficking. However, I learned quite a bit about how child abuse can effect a person's entire life.
Michelle's narrative is clear and powerful. In telling her truth, she is making a difference in more lives than she knows. If you've been there, she gets you, if you love someone who has been assaulted, she opens your eyes. The time I spent reading this book changed my life and outlook. Thank you.
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